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33 & golden

from the infinite spine by Lauren Auder

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lyrics

i was born an open wound
that only suicide could sow up
but i refuse that healing thread
i wanted god to look at us
and she whispers you sweet nothings
you hope it’s true enough
to keep you here till you give yourself up
i’m done with this body i’m done with this skin
till i’m rid of my bones and i’m left with a grin
if u swallow evil and just let it swim
sometimes the hospital beds just can’t teach you a thing
just can't teach you a thing

oh i can't see life as inherent good
as easy as it sounds i would if i could
we can't sit tight the way we should
we're tied and we're bound
comically misunderstood

i’m done with this body i’m done with this skin
till i’m rid of my bones and i’m left with a grin
if u swallow evil and just let it swim
sometimes the hospital beds just can’t teach you a thing

these ropes serve to keep us apart
and all this pain has no lesson at its heart

but it just keeps going
it just keeps growing
won't stop
cause it just keeps tugging
it won’t stop tearing
us
up

credits

from the infinite spine, released July 18, 2023
Produced by Alex Parish, Dviance, Lauren Auder
Written by Lauren Auder, Alex Parish, Sylvain Gerboud, Martin Hadley

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all rights reserved

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about

Lauren Auder London, UK

London-based Lauren Auder is a 24-year-old songwriter, storyteller, composer and artist. Her baroquely orchestrated pop songs a palette in which Auder colors in a world through her own eloquent lens as a trans person and the inherently political nature of merely residing in a body that is constantly under threat.

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